Who I Was, Who I Am and Who I Will Be

First Day of High Fashion -- for me anyway

2008-02-11T09:23:00.000-06:00

Hello,
Usually, I don't try to be very fashionable, so today I stepped out of my comfort zone and wore a scarf (AND earrings). Ok ok, you may not be shocked but I'm really excited.

Oh yeah!

2008-02-08T10:30:00.001-06:00

I just realized that I didn't tell you guys how my internship turned out. My roommate ended up being psycho. Really crazy! That's pretty much it.

Style - My Tenets

2008-02-08T10:13:00.000-06:00

I've read a whole lot about people's style and I guess I would like to talk about my style.

1. I don't wear makeup. I don't have anything against makeup; I'm just really really lazy in putting it on and taking it off. I know. I'm so bad.

2. A lot of the times I don't wear earrings. I love pretty studs like these.

Claire's $6.50

Claire's $5.50

And these especially because I love Hello Kitty!!!

3. The clothes I tend to wear are tomboyish/workout. Sometimes if nothing matches or I need to do laundry I pull the homeless look. Sometimes I feel weird doing it, but I really don't like spending money on clothes unless I'm OUTLET SHOPPING, the best thing ever! But the closest outlet mall is 1 hour away. :( Sometimes, I wish I could be more stylish but whenever I'm in the store, I can't pull anything together in my head that looks good in real life. Plus I'm really bad at buying the wrong size. I end up not wearing 1/2 of the clothes I buy because they don't fit after I wash them (either too big or too little). That depresses me. I guess I need a personal shopper. Sigh... :D

To wrap it up, I guess you could say that I keep it simple and keep it comfortable for me, but I'd like to improve my style just a little.

Braid-out

2008-02-08T10:07:00.000-06:00

So night before last, I braided my hair so I could have a braid out the next day. I woke up yesterday and I was so happy. I had big sexy hair (harrrrrrr), but it fell. :( By 3:00, it looked really weird. I was so sad. I think my braids were too big, plus I started with dry hair and sprayed it. (I wanted to start with damp hair, but my hair holds *holds* water like you wouldn't believe. Those mugs wouldn't be dry.)
I'm sad I didn't take pictures with the sexy hair.
Bummer experience but I learned a lot.
1. Start with damp hair and maybe wrap it that day when I go out.
2. Walk in confidence anyway.

GRE scores

2008-02-06T09:23:00.001-06:00

I am so stressed about sending this to schools because this means that my applications are complete. I'm so scared. In fact, this has taken over my life and I have not been able to do any homework, work or sleep in peace. It's sad really! I'm sending them today!

More photos

2008-02-05T11:41:00.000-06:00

If you'll remember I did a collage of myself about four months in with Sisterlocks. It was late night and I was taking photos with my webcam. Last week I thought, "I haven't done that in FOREVER - WEB CAM TIME" so here are my most recent webcam photos.

Right....

2008-02-05T11:38:00.001-06:00

I'm blogging in biophysics class. I feel guilty but if I don't, I feel frustrated. It's a video class from another university. Watching class is not the same as watching TV. Watching youtube however is kick-ass. Excuse me while I watch a funny clip.

Hello...

2008-02-05T11:21:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone,
I was tagged a long time ago so I am just now coming to it.

1. Pro: I'm a very reflective person. I think a lot about possibilities and assumptions when doing my homework and engineering problems. Con: I'm a very reflective person. I daydream constantly and I have mini soap operas in my head. It's really bad.

2. I lurk in blogs and websites like Nappturality.com, but I never post on my own blog. Very contradictory. I'm internet-shy. All day long I think of stuff I want to post, but when I get to post, I get really nervous. :(

3. I love my job. I'm a computer lab monitor (studying and lurking on nappturality.com) on campus. Best on campus job EVER!!

4. Japanese is currently my hardest class. Not Biophysics, not Quantum Mechanics II, but Japanese. It's been 2 years since I took 300 level so I feel the burn. Our teacher gives us 3-4 pages of tough reading and expect us to sound good. He's not mean about it; he's just like "Oh yeah, read this this and this in two days and answer these questions". In order to practice my kanji (which I SUCK) I may have to type journal articles. It's much easier to type kanji than to write it.

5. I hate telling people in real life what I study. I really do! I hate the "OH MY GOD " look. I hate being cast as "that girl, the overachiever". I'm not the girl who argues for 20 minutes with the professor about one point or cries if I get a B. I live on B's folks. In some of my classes, I pray to pass.
I'm not as hesitant to talk about it on my blog. If I'm having trouble with one of my classes, I'll talk about it. If I'm happy about one of my classes, I'll talk about it. It's my place to be free.

6. I've been "sisterlocked" for about 1.5 years. I say "sisterlocked" because I started with Sisterlocks and started latching about 3 months in. I got them installed here, but when I moved to do an internship in upstate New York, it was almost impossible to find anyone. So I looked up how to retighten my own locks and have been doing it ever since.

7. My bf is awesome! He's like a cross between Shemar Moore and Dr. Phil. He's great.

That's mine. I'll some people to tag.

16 Months In

2008-01-29T10:31:00.001-06:00

More Facebook Photos

14 months in

2008-01-29T10:27:00.001-06:00

9 months in photos

2008-01-29T10:20:00.000-06:00

Hi,
The photos before this one are I think my internship ones (1-2 months in), so here are some that are later. These are facebook so my friends are in here too.

Great African Wrap Tutorial!

2008-01-29T10:14:00.000-06:00

I wanted to learn how to do this and so I you tubed it.

I'm back!

2008-01-29T10:06:00.000-06:00

I know. I'm horrible. Please don't hate me. It's been a year and a half and I'm just now posting. When I think about this blog, I go through this horrible guilt cycle and not post.

Update:
1. I still have Sisterlocks. I will be 21 months locked (:O ?!)I didn't realize it'd been so long. I'll post pictures soon. I was looking back on my old pictures and I am in shock at the difference.

2. My bf and I are still together. We celebrated our 2nd anniversary on MLK Jr. Day. Very appropriate.

3. I'm still in school. Now I'm pursuing a Chemical Engineering degree and a Physics degree with a Japanese minor. I'll graduate in August. Currently applying to graduate schools.

4. Even though I haven't posted anywhere in about a year and a half, I still lurk everyday ("way too much" - bf) on Nappturality.com/forum

That's all I can think of. I'll try to put some pictures up. I didn't take progress pictures, but since my life is documented through facebook, I'll scoot some of those photos over here.

Catch y'all later.

Too crazy

2006-06-12T06:59:00.000-05:00

Too funny! I love this lady!!!

http://shenehneh.blogspot.com/2006/03/day-in-life-of-weave-technician.html

A bunch of crock!!!

2006-06-12T06:24:00.000-05:00

http://www.sptimes.com/2006/04/14/Floridian/Combing_through_memor.shtml

I DON'T and WILL NEVER miss that!

My least favorite part was this:
"That's the segment that gets the most laughs from the audience, Morgan said. The 29-year-old drew from her own experience as a young girl getting her hair pressed while visiting her grandmother in North Carolina.

"They used a whole bucket of grease," said Morgan, who grew up in Connecticut. "And the stylist kept burning me. We all laugh at it now.

"If I have a daughter, I wonder if I would do that to her," said Morgan, who is seven months pregnant. "But I worry if I didn't, she might not be able to have this conversation.""

Forget the conversation! You burned me so that I could have *this conversation* years from now about how much I hated it?! What's wrong with you?!

Fun in Downtown Albany....and Work (I guess)

2006-06-12T03:26:00.000-05:00

I didn't even know he took this picture.....

On the bus heading to the Empire State Plaza with my friend V.

Scaring the bears!

How can I get to Sesame Street?! Well, I got there somehow.

3 AM Photoshoot

2006-06-12T02:42:00.000-05:00

A girl, a camera, and a head of freshly washed 4 week old Sisterlocks!
I usually don't like the way I look in pictures, but I like these. I had a ton of fun!

I *heart* Sisterlocks.

First Friday

2006-06-09T13:16:00.000-05:00

Geo and I have been talking late night. I miss him. He's had a horrible time traveling thanks to Delta losing his ticket information. He had to pay for another ticket. I hope they give him back his money for his first ticket.

I've taken so many naps during the day over the past few days that I wake up sometimes not knowing what day it is. I took a nap today from 10-12:15 before lunch and I woke up thinking it was 8 again. Wild!

I guess it's good to be on vacation. I tend to complain no matter what. Here's what I'll do. I'll write 10 really awesome things about this research experience.
1.) This week, I'm on vacation (essentially).
2.) I'm get to observe scientists at one of the best institutions in the US.
3.) I'm out of Alabama.
4.) I like what I'm reading. The material is interesting.
5.) I get to talk to people about grad school here.
6.) The president of this school is a black lady. If I meet her, I might cry.
7.) I'm so close to NYC.
8.) I appreciate my boss from last summer so much more! I thought he was too hard on me. That's only because he knew I could do it.
9.) People here are nice.
10.) I get to do world-class research.

I haven't been able to do any experiments so far. I've been a little frustrated, but I have to remember to be patient. I haven't done much other than reading. The graduate student I'm working with is working on a paper so I have to wait. I have to be flexible, even if that means hanging around. Maybe even later on in this program, I'll be wishing for these days again. lol

2006-06-06T06:38:00.000-05:00

It's early!
It's our first day of work, kinda. Yesterday we went on an orientation of bio/chemistry health and safety. Also, we did stuff for taxes and payroll. We found out where we were supposed to eat and met each other officially.
My roommate, J, is cool. She is from Georgia and goes to Tuskegee. My suite mates, S and D are cool also. They are from Puerto Rico and are engineering majors. Most of the people in this program are from Puerto Rico and are women. I find that really encouraging, because most of the statistics are bleak for women and minorities! (Howard Hughes is a minority program, so I expected a large minority turnout.)
I meet my research mentor today! His name is Dr. Ravi Kane. He does work in nanobiotechnology, so I'm excited.

I miss home!!!

2006-06-05T22:12:00.000-05:00

I miss home!!! I miss Geo!!! I miss my mom and my friends!!!
But...I'm making new friends here. Maybe I should focus on here instead of what I'm missing.

2006-06-03T18:33:00.000-05:00

More Sisterlock photos from installation, first week, second week, and third week.

2006-06-03T18:28:00.000-05:00

This is one of my really good friends Annie with me. I'm freestylin' these 3 week old locks. :-D

2006-06-03T18:23:00.000-05:00

This is to the best boyfriend! Geo sat through my Sisterlocks installation! You're amazing! Thanks. You encourage me so much.

I'm sorry if that sounded really sappy, but I meant it.

Finally Pictures from installation

2006-06-03T18:00:00.000-05:00

I'm glad that I have finally been able to post these online!

Five/Four days left...

2006-05-08T00:25:00.000-05:00

This will be quick.
Today, I talked to my mom. She got her hair cut. I was so surprised! It's still relaxed, but she was talking about no more relaxers. Yippee!!! They haven't been good for her and I can tell how her hair has changed over the past few years from the relaxers. I figured that now I can talk her into considering Sisterlocks. She says that she'll see how mine will do and then she'll get hers!!! Uber-happy.

Tomorrow, I have a physics final at 7:00PM-9:30PM. Yeah...I'm just glad that I get the whole day to study tomorrow! Also, I'm stoked that I don't have anymore finals until Friday.
See you later.

Six days and counting....

2006-05-06T18:34:00.000-05:00

Six/Five days until I get my Sisterlocks installed. The original date was Saturday May 20th, but I called again, did some negotiating, and got my appointment moved up to Friday May 12th/Saturday May 13th. (The reason why I did that is because I could be starting an internship in upstate New York early June. Vicky and Vickese would not be able to do my two week checkup then.) I'm uber-excited. The only thing is though that next Friday is the end of dead week. I have two exams on that day and on Saturday, I have some friends graduating, a bridal shower I'm supposed to attend, and move-out day for Geo.

I seem so heartless.

Anywho, lately in the lock-it-up yahoo group, there has been discussion about wheatgrass powders, supplements, smoothies, and juice. So I decided to look and see if there was anyplace in T-town where I could buy this wonderful wheat grass. First I went to GNC to find out that they didn't have any in a trial-size. I wasn't about to spend $40 for a half liter of powder that I may not like. Well, then I went to Manna's Grocery, T-town's lone health food store, to find that they had several brands. I didn't know up from down, so I decided to look on lockitup to find out what brands are good/bad/evil and go back next week and look for that.
I got online and found three brands that Alicialiked: Garden of Life Perfect Food, Jamba Juice , and Amazing Grass. So I looked up and found that Manna's is a retailer for Garden of Life, but not Amazing Grass or Jamba Juice. Neither of those are in 250 mile radius of my house.
The thing is I'm sold on wheatgrass, but I don't want to just try it until after finals. Some people say that it could cause stomach upset and I wanted nothing to happen this finals week. So I will wait.

2006-04-25T21:56:00.000-05:00

A clearer shot of my hair during the homecoming.

2006-04-25T21:55:00.000-05:00

This is me with one of my fav teachers in high school. She taught Biology, Chemistry, and Physics.
The date is wrong. It's Jan 2004.

2006-04-25T21:53:00.000-05:00

Me with relaxed hair freshman year. Most of the time I'm around campus like this. In this pic, I'm hanging out with one of my Japanese friends, eating there.

2006-04-25T21:48:00.000-05:00

This is me and Geo pre-relationship when we still were in that "I wonder if he/she likes me".
We went with a large 30-member group of friends camping. It was so much fun. A bunch of us went and played Sardines in the woods with no flashlights around a river. Snakes galore!
This is proof that black people like camping.

2006-04-25T21:46:00.000-05:00

The first day of the comb coils that came apart 3 days later. They took six hours.

2006-04-25T21:44:00.000-05:00

Christmas Party Dec. 2005
My hair is flat twisted here. I'm actually wearing make-up and dress up clothes. My mom would have been soooo proud.

2006-04-25T21:43:00.000-05:00

This is me April 2005. We were on the Great Wall. I bought the "North Face" jacket from a street vendor. I want to go again.

Life lesson of the day

2006-04-24T13:38:00.000-05:00

Go to class no matter what, even if you don't feel like it.
Even when you are sleepy, tired, or sick.
You still paid for it.

You can't always count on notes from others.

My first class was at 8 and I just wanted to sleep in, but I like physics so I went anyway.

My second class was at 12. I went, but I felt really sick and left early. Still got something out of it. I'm going to the doctor to see what's wrong, because this has been going on for the past 2-3 weeks.
(I'm mean to my body.)

Sisterlock consultation

2006-04-18T13:52:00.000-05:00

Last Friday night, Amber, Cynthia, and Geo went up to B'ham to see Vicky and Vickese for my consultation. We saw the video. All 4 of us were trying so hard not to laugh. It was 80'rific. I wish Amber, Cynthia, and Geo could have seen a more recent DVD with more recent hairstyles. When the photo album with more recent pics was passed around, they felt better. "We were scared for you for a minute there, Joy". We spent about 2 hours there talking about Sisterlocks.

Geo (my Indian boyfriend) was shocked. When we got back on the road, he asked, "Why do black women spend so much time on hair?"...........

He's been really trying to figure this out and I've been trying to explain to him about importance of straight hair in AA culture.

Amber and Cynthia (both AA) tried to explain to him the history of black hair care and how straight hair is viewed. It's been a learning curve for him. He's a trooper for hanging in there.

I got some test locks put in and

Discouragement / Burn out?

2006-04-18T13:35:00.000-05:00

I haven't updated in the past few weeks. I haven't written in my hardcopy journal for almost as long. I'm learning a very important lesson now: put on your "big girl" panties and do what you have to do.
This semester, I've seen how absolutely passive I am with the situation with my boyfriend, my feelings about the whole situation, how I've let it affect my school, how my mom might feel about the whole thing, and how things will work out this summer. I've got to take charge and do what I need to do!
I always see things as happening to me with no recourse I can take to do take care of it. I'm used to people telling me what to do, but now I'm technically an adult and responsible for myself (not completely, but at least in some capacity). When people dictate your life you can blame other people. When you have to make serious decisions, you are responsible when the crap hits the fan. But what about when things go really well? How am I supposed to feel about that?
I've also been really worried about school. I spend more time worried about school than studying (100:1). Also, I keep feeling that I can't do this even though everyone around me tells me I can. Background: I've been a chemical engineering major for the past 4 years. I've hated the past 2.5 years. I would change majors, but ít's to late, so I'll just add another: physics. It's closer to what I want to do in graduate school anyway. I've done relatively well in ChemE (3.4/4.0), but I hate it with all my being. (lol)
Anyway, I'm taking physics now, and I'm scared. I'm easily intimidated (another thing I can deal with), but everyone around me encourages me that I can do it. Honestly, at this point, I feel dumb. In high school, I didn't feel this way. I tied for the highest standardized test score at my high school *ever*. I was in the top four in my class. How did I go from so confident in myself to not confidence at all? Who did I listen to?

My life as of right now.

2006-03-22T20:43:00.000-06:00

I wish I had a survey. Answering questions about yourself is so much easier.

My life:
I'm African-American. I grew up in Alabama. I'm shy and very passive-agressive. For the first 6 years of my education, I went to a all-black underfunded public rural school. For the last 7 years of my education, I went to a suburban all-white private Catholic school. Very different. I think I've adjusted well, but a lot of time I don't feel comfortable in either an all-white or all-black settings.
I'm currently in my first romantic relationship. My boyfriend is Indian (from India, but grew up in the Middle East) and we are in the same major here at UA. We've been dating since the 22nd of January. It doesn't seem long, but we've had a lot of ups and downs. I've thought some about what he would think about me wanting locks. Would someone not of AA descent really like or understand what I mean or what this hair journey means to me? It was very encouraging for me to see a lot of lockin' ladies in interracial couples. Most of y'all are up north, but still it's encouraging. He's very independent and defiant in a lot of ways so he seems to handle the stares jokingly.
I live in a house with all white girls from a Christian group on campus. They are so cool. They feel like the sisters I never had. I talk to them about a lot, but I think that when I try to talk about hair, there is a kinda of learning curve for them. To be fair, there is a learning curve for me when they talk about weight issues. It's like we're learning about each other. Also one of my housemates is in an interracial relationship with a black guy. They get a lot of crap, but I'm happy about their relationship because they seem to be good for each other.
Recently, just found out my rent check bounced, my car needs fixin' AGAIN, just lied to my mom where I was for Spring Break because I wanted some time to myself before I went home, I lost my job pretty much, I don't know what I'm doing this summer, I don't know if I I've started drinking *a lot* and have a negative checking account balance.
Good side: I still have Dining Dollars so I can eat at University cafeterias. My mom said that she will pay for my car to get fixed. I think I started to drink for not good reasons, so I'm not going to drink anymore. (I don't like feeling nauseous.) I have some money the university owes me for research that should carry me over. My refund check came in so that should cover the bounced rent check AND April's rent. God is still good.

My Decision

2006-03-22T19:40:00.000-06:00

Ok. After much thinking and contemplation, I think I've come to a decision about my locks.
I was seriously considering SisterlocksTM when I saw how everyone else's looks. It was great to see photos of people from the Locked Hair Blog Exchange. Sisterlocks look cool, but they are too expensive and the closest Sisterlock trainee is 1.5 hours away. So I've decided to start with small two-strand twists and tighten with NappyLoc tool.

My reasons (I give these to tell myself later, if I get discouraged)
For the two-strand twists:

I've had them before.
When I had them last April, they were so cool. My hair did a crazy funky thing. It actually curled around itself, so it looked like I'd straw-set them. I thought "I never would have guessed that I had such cool hair!!"
They are much cheaper!
I think they would be extremely easy to do now because my hair when I don't comb it out for a few days after I get out of the shower, I get these random curls all over my head. They look like mini Shirley Temples. I'm falling in love with my hair!!!!

For the NappyLoc Tool:

I looked at several blogs that talked about it. Several people who mentioned it was Leighann (http://www.mysisterlocks.blogspot.com/), Brunsli (http://brunsli.blogspot.com/) and all the people who commented on their blogs. I'm really glad that Leighann did the tool comparison! It was super helpful.
I called Deborah from Nappy-n-Happy and talked to her for 20 minutes about it. As it turns out, she kinda owned the company! She was super super nice! I asked her questions and questions and questions and questions and she answered them all to my satisfaction. (I was really nervous.) Maybe I'll give her number to my mom so my mom can talk to her. (I know. I'm 21 years old with a heavy dependence on my mom, which has become even heavier given the circumstance to be outlined in the next entry.)
It seems to be really easy, and it's cheap to get the tool. Deborah says that I would just need the medium size anyway, so I'll just get the $69 kit.

Price and Time Comparison startup:

Sisterlocks

Price for the Sisterlock startup for my 5.5-6 inch long hair : $450-500
Price for gas for the three visits I'd have to make to Columbus (60 miles) : $50 (two tanks)
Add in the fact that I don't like strange people "fixing my hair".
Time : 9 hours of driving and 10+ hours of the startup!
Total : $500-600

Two-strand twists startup with NappyLoc Tool maintenence

Price for the two-strand twists from someone I trust : $75
Price for the NappyLoc Kit : $69.00
Time : 7.5 hours of two-strand twisting and 5 minutes driving
Price for gas : negligible (Stillman is 5 minutes from my house).
Total : $144.00

Ok. Plus the touchups. My friend: $25. Columbus: $100 + $15 in gas.

Is it obvious that I am an engineer?

Who I Was, Who I Am & Who I Will Be -- The Beginning

2006-03-22T11:58:00.000-06:00

Hi,
This is actually my second Blogger blog. The first one, created while in high school, is lost in cyberspace. I didn't use it often, but that's ok.
Now, we are to the reason why I'm here. The reason I switched over from Livejournal.... Ok! I was looking online just chilling looking at websites and groups about black women with natural hair. Lately, I've been feeling kinda bummed out about my hair. It's been the same way since August 2004. I've been wanting to change, but I've been too scared to change. Change scares me. I was looking up groups, stumbled onto the yahoo group named "LadyLocs" about women with dreadlocks. I've been wanting to lock my hair since April 2004, but again change scares me.
Back to the story, the links page for "LadyLocs" had a link to http://locksblogsphotos.blogspot.com/ I looked on it and read some of the blogs and the Val and Nadine comics (http://valandnadine.blogspot.com/). I was so excited. I thought, "I want to be a part of this. I want to have some support about my natural hair".
In Alabama, there is some but little support around me. I don't have anyone really close to me that I could talk to. Recently, one person to whom I'd become close and was an inspiration to me, got a relaxer for a pagent. She was (and still is) my shero, but I was a little discouraged.
Anyway, I'm glad I can have more natural-hair-sheroes through blogger and feel as confident about my natural crown as I did when I had my Big Chop.